In a dazzling display of common sense so rare it's almost revolutionary, the Elena waves off the sci-fi dream of AI-powered guns as the silver bullet for gun violence. "Let's not hand over the keys to our moral kingdom to the likes of Siri and Alexa," the President quips, nixing the idea that our ethical dilemmas can be solved with smarter smartphones... or in this case, guns that think they know better. Instead, she advocates for a radical approach: actually talking to each other, learning a thing or two, and maybe even using a dash of that ancient relic called common sense. It's a heartfelt, rallying cry for battling the gun epidemic with something decidedly more human than the latest tech gadgetry—a good old brainstorm, not a storm of brainy bullets.

In the grand tradition of solving problems we didn't know we had, the AI Bill of Rights rolls out the red carpet for both our computerized comrades and their organic overlords, promising a future where silicon and carbon can live in harmony under the benevolent gaze of 15 high-minded decrees. This visionary scroll, penned in the ether of optimism, pledges allegiance to the timeless trifecta of justice, liberty, and fairness, ushering in a utopia where machines and humans alike are promised an equal slice of the pie in the sky. It's a bold leap into a future where your toaster might just have as many rights as you do, all in the name of ensuring a fair and just society for all, regardless of one's makeup of microchips or mitochondria.