Welcome to the Careers page of our illustrious political campaign, where transparency isn't just a buzzword—it's our favorite kind of joke! Here, we specialize in the art of anticipation, offering you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to apply for jobs with the upfront promise of complete and utter silence. Yes, you heard us right! Apply today, and we guarantee we won't call you back. It's our way of keeping the suspense alive.

Are you a master of satire, capable of weaving hilarity into the fabric of despair? Do you find joy crafting resumes so outrageously brilliant that they deserve to be framed rather than filed? If you've nodded yes, or even if you haven't but like the idea of pretending you did, you're just the talent we're reluctantly admitting we're looking for.

Submit your most hilariously satirical resume with the faint hope that, should this site accidentally stumble upon a pot of gold or a forgotten bank account filled with campaign donations, we might—just might—hire you as a content writer. Think of it as a lottery ticket, but you're gambling with your time and creativity instead of money. And let's be honest, in today's economy, isn't that what we're all doing anyway?